Do you know who you are?

As we end 2011 and begin a New Year, I’m sure most people have thought about, planned or put into motion something they would like to change or improve in their life going into the New Year. It may be personal accomplishments like finishing or starting school, releasing people in their life, family relationships, personal relationships, job, financial situation, faith and so on.

I was watching a television show and two females were talking and one of the females asked the other one “Do you know who you are?” When she poised the question, she was asking because the female was in trouble with the law. It did not surprise me when the female answered back “No.”  No she doesn’t know who she is because she’s probably lived majority of her life trying to please other people that at this stage in her life she's so lost in other people that now she doesn’t know who she is or what she wants from life.  This happens when you live your life as a follower and not a leader who makes their own decisions.

It’s sad because she’s not the only person to have “no” as their answer. How can improvements or changes be made in our lives if as a person WE don’t know who you’re changing for? No one will ever know or be completely satisfied with who they are because as humans we are forever changing and looking for improvements but we have to have a foundation to build from.

When God calls me home, I want people to know who I am , I want to have made a difference in peoples lives but I know I first have to start with my life. I can honestly say that right now I’m okay with the direction that Kamel Bey a.k.a Makenzi is going. On top of the obvious, daughter, sister, aunt, friend…ect. I’m an author who writes stories to entertain but also improve people’s lives. I’m an educated female who uses my life experiences to enhance other people’s lives; respectful to myself and to other people, I carry myself in a respectful manner and I do not allow other people to disrespect me physically, mentally or verbally. Loyal and committed once I commit myself to a person or a situation I stick with the situation until its course ends. I’m a listener and communicator, the information I provide may not be what you like but I will never give bad advice that will end up harming a person. Child of GOD, forgiver, I can’t expect people to forgive me for my mistakes if I’m not willing to forgive others. Educator.  I make people laugh and sometimes cry, realist, confidant, leader but know when to step back and follow. I have a direction with my life that will allow me to “know who I am.”

To honestly move forward with your life you have to search within and pull out YOU.  Be happy with whom you are and if you’re not satisfied with the YOU, then make improvements to become a better YOU.

Happy New Year

Makenzi

Happy Holidays

Seasons Greeting,

I would like to thank you in advanced for the continuous support throughout the years. May the Peace and Joy of the Holiday Season be with you during the New Year.

Much Love, 

Makenzi

Makenzi: Hampton Roads Author Meet and Greet

Makenzi: Hampton Roads Author Meet and Greet: Ten Hampton Roads Authors under one roof for one night! Sunday, January 15, 2012 6:00pm until 9:00pm Paradigm Lounge,...

You Turned Out To Be The......

Beyonce said in her song, 'Best Thing I Never Had'......."I wanted you bad, I'm so through with it, 'Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had, You turned out to be the best thing I never had, And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had, Oh yeah, I bet it sucks to be you right now!"

Why as women, the first thing we say to a man when we break up is your going to miss me or your not going to find someone like me. I will be the first to admit I’m guilty of saying those words, but the reality of it all is if he wanted someone like you, then he would be with YOU. You can’t make a person like, love or be with you if YOU are not what they want in their life at the moment or ever. People like who and what they like bottom line. As women we have to understand that every failed relationship is not our fault, as much as we may love a person they may not be the person that God wants us to be with. I’m learning day by day. I’m growing as a woman day by day and with this growth comes change. Everyone should have an idea of the type of person they want as a mate. Write down your top 10 expectations that you look for in a mate, next write down 10 things you will bring into the relationship. You can’t expect more from your mate than what you’re willing to bring into the relationship…you have to bring to the relationship your expectations from your mate plus more. Stop playing victim, saying none of my relationships work out or there are no good men (not true, there are plenty of good men). Some people are quick to give up on the relationship at the first sign of an disagreement, they already have their mind made up that the relationship is not going to work because of this or that or penalize their mate for what someone else did to them in a previous relationship…let that go or you will never be able to move forward in life and have a healthy relationship. Go into the relationship with the mind frame that this can and will work out. Put in the necessary effort, stop being selfish. You have to speak it into existence. Real relationships do still exist.

Makenzi

Setup for a Comeback

Life is full of things that try to push us down. We all face disappointments and setbacks. Maybe you received some bad news about your health or perhaps a relationship didn’t work out. That was a setback. It’s easy to get discouraged or lose your enthusiasm or even be tempted to just settle where you are. But if we’re going to see God’s best, we have to have a “bounce back” mentality. That means when you get knocked down, you don’t stay down. You get back up again. You have to know that every time adversity comes against you, it’s a setup for a comeback!

Remember, as a believer in Jesus, the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives on the inside of you. There is no challenge too difficult, no obstacle too high, no sickness, no disappointment, no person, nothing that can keep you from your God-given destiny. If you stay in faith, then God will turn what was meant to be a stumbling block into a stepping stone, and you’ll move forward in strength, full of faith and victory!

Joel & Victoria Osteen

What does my family mean to me

I was sitting at work today thinking about my family, I will not be home for Christmas this year to spend time with them. Last year we were in Florida and this year’s family trip was cancelled, now I have seen them throughout this year, but the holidays are different. As I sat at work I began thinking what does my Family mean to me? When I say family I’m including my friends, I consider my friends to be my family as well. We may not always like each other or disagree with decisions that are made but we always get over the disagreements because we love each other. My family is my purpose to strive for higher/better opportunities in life.  With my family I have trust, stability, structure, closeness, emotional support, unconditional love, morals and values, long term commitment, dependability, safety zone, laughter, smiles, common interest, good times, guidance and at the beginning and end of each day we have God as the head of our lives. I love my family. 

He/She Is Not Into You

My father told me that if a man truly wants to be with you, he will not only tell you but he will show you as well. A person is never to busy to spend time with the person they truly care about. That person should show genuine interest in your life, desires and passions. They will go to heaven and back to earth to ensure that you’re happy. They will not only make you laugh and smile but also be that ear who will listen and the shoulder you can lean on in time of need.

If you find yourself doing all the calling, texting, emailing or however you two communicate than he/she is not into you. Meaning they are not looking to build a future with you. If they cancel plans at the last minute that means something better came along. If he/she doesn’t show interest in your daily life, don’t spend time with you outside of the house or if they don’t talk about a future with you he/she is not into you. If he makes up excuses for why they don't want to be in a committed relationship.he/she is not into you. Now these are just a few examples of a person not showing interest and it all depends on the individual person to determine the factors of if a person is into them or not. Do not force a relationship, if a relationship is meant to be it will be. Don’t stop living life for one person, you will short yourself by missing out on spending time with the person that is truly meant for you.

Makenzi

Foundation of Love

Does your relationship have the proper foundation to survive? I'm not talking about a paper mache type of relationship that if you throw water on it or it catches on fire then the relationship is done, over with. I'm talking about the type of foundation like the pyramids in Egypt, those pyramids were made from limestone, granite, clay and mud, many different types of materials to build a strong structure. Yes I know you have layers with paper mache but again if you throw water on paper it's going to crumble all at once. With pyramids, you can throw water on it, set it on fire and remove a couple of bricks but at the end of the day the foundation will still be there. It may have a few chips and holes but those can be repaired as long as the foundation is secure enough. Even if you used a bulldozer it's not taking that pyramid down after one hit, it's going to take several tries before that pyramid crumbles and even after it crumbles you still have the original structure at the bottom, that will allow you to rebuild if you choose.
I hear people say they want a strong relationship but do not want to put in the time and effort it takes to build up the relationship or their carrying around baggage from past relationships that they will not let go of. Being in a relationship never stops, you don't get any days off. I'm noticing a lot of people are mistaking lust for love and when things get rough or situations occur within the relationship, people are quick to run or use sex as a band aide. I don't care how long you are in a relationship with a person if you don't have the proper foundation than it's going to crumble. In this day and age there are too many distractions that can harm a relationship that's not already stable. Social media, texting messages, cell phones and emails are ruining a lot of relationships BUT that's because the media is dictating what should be and shouldn't be in a relationship, we want what we see other people have (false illusion). That's where the problem is right there, false illusions give off the effect that your relationship should be perfect and we all know there is no perfect relationship; this world does not have perfect people.
All relationships will have its flaws it's how you handle those flaws that matters. Think back to when your great-great grandparents where married, they survived because they built the proper foundation to overcome the struggles they were faced with. There was no email, text, Facebook, Twitter, none of that, they communicated via letters, having weekend dates or however else they spent time with each other, the bottom line is they had a strong foundation. People are always screaming communication is the key to a good relationship and I would agree with that but communication is not the only key needed for a healthy relationship. I would consider myself a good communicator but I know in order for my relationship to survive and for me to build a healthy relationship, I need God in my life, trust, unselfishness, self esteem, I must commit myself and the list goes on. A relationship does not start and end with communication alone. 
I'm not saying that in 2012 that a relationship can't survive because it can, but we must stop mistaking lust for love or thinking having a friend with benefits is not a distraction to your relationship. Lust can sneak in and fool you but when the dust settles and a situation occurs you will learn real fast if your relationship is built on lust or love. I believe in love and marriage and plan to get married one day but it will be for the right reasons not solely because I became pregnant and he felt it was the right thing to do, not because it will financially benefit us, not because it's just something to do or because I'm getting older. I'm going to secure my foundation and build it up. What people must understand is that your foundation will not be complete over night, it takes time. Everyday you should be growing with your partner, building them up, motivating him or her to become a better person. The support system they need to survive the challenges of the world.

Again, do you have the foundation set in place for your relationship to survive?

Makenzi

Young Mom Kills 3-Month-Old Son

Today I read a post about a 20 year old woman who killed her 3 Month Old Son (90 days out of the womb). Now I'm not a mother so I've never felt the joy of having a baby grow inside of my stomach. I've heard so many wonderful stories and I've been told that the mother and baby bond during this time.

Toyrianna Smith, the mother had to be experiencing postpartum depression for her to kill her son because there is no other excuse besides her being mentally ill that would make her commit such a horrific act . Her son was dead for fourteen hours before anyone found out about it. She takes her 3 year old daughter and 3 month old son to her friends house to get drunk, party and get her hair done (hair done???? Not according to this picture). The baby starts crying in the middle of the night and this drunk broad repeatedly slaps the baby and puts a blanket over his face. I'm getting upset just writing this. So the baby starts crying again and once again she repeatedly slaps him but this time she takes it further until his arms start jerking and he stops crying. (I'm sure he wasn't crying anymore Toyrianna, because you just killed your child).

So the next day, the same friends who probably was drinking and partying with her asked her why the baby wasn't moving and this broad lies and says he's sleep. This was her opportunity to fess up but she doesn't do that, she dresses the baby and takes the dead infant shopping with her for several hours......THAT IS SOME SICK SHIT!!!!!!  Her friends wasn't smart enough to notice that the baby was no longer alive but a neighbor noticed blood on the babies blanket and called the police (thank you neighbor). The death was ruled a homicide by suffocation and an autopsy estimated the child was dead for up to 14 hours. Smith allegedly confessed to the murder and demonstrated for police how she struck and suffocated the child.

No I don't know what stressful events could have led up to killing her child because partying and drinking never made me want to kill someone and damn sure not the life of your own child. She could have given him to one of her family member's, the father, one of his family member's, one of her friends or social services until she was able to get her self together. I think this was a very selfish act on her part. That child never had a chance at life, there are many people who would love to have kids and God granted her with an opportunity and she took that child's life away from him.


Makenzi

Fellas please believe any and ever time you sleep with a young lady she can potentially be your child's mother....condoms break and a lot of times some of you don't strap up....you have the right to choose who you sleep with so don't complain when you get a random chick pregnant you barely know and say she is crazy and vindictive, or you don't want to deal with the child because of the mother ways..USE YOUR BRAIN, BE WISE, BE SAFE, BE SMART. (Monique Yesenia)

Synopsis

What is a synopsis?

 It's a narrative summary of your book--with feeling

The synopsis introduces your main characters and their main conflicts, all woven together in the narrative. (It does not list your characters.) You do not have to include every character or every scene, plot point, or subplot in your synopsis. But your synopsis should give a clear idea as to what your book is about, what characters will care about (or dislike), what is at stake for your heroes, what they stand to lose, and how it all turns out.

It's written in present tense. (reality television of literature)

It's written in third person. (Writing in the third person involves writing as if you are narrating a story)

It's written in the same style of writing your book is written in. One paragraph should flow logically to the next. If you are switching ideas, you need to make sure you build in a transition to connect your paragraphs.

You must put the conclusion to your novel in your synopsis. No cliffhangers or teasers. Agents and editors want to know that you know how to successfully conclude your story.

Makenzi

Surround Yourself with Positive People

Do your friends uplift you, or bring you down? Are they critical, or complementary?

Negative self talk and negative energy can affect you in many ways and cause you additional stress. You can help yourself maintain a positive frame of mind by surrounding yourself with the kinds of people you want to be like. People, can have the strongest affect on our lives, I'm living proof. I believe that you become, the people, you hang out with, whether you want to or not. 

The people you associate with and share ideas with have a major influence on how you choose to act upon or not act upon your dreams. One of the most important ways you can get (and keep) positive energy in your life is with the company you keep. Good friends can inspire you to reach greater heights, and see your strengths even when you don’t always. Pay attention to how your friends make you feel, and if they’re less than supportive, start putting your energy and time toward people who are better suited to be your friend. If you can't find anyone like this, then simply take the time to read self help or Inspirational books and eventually you will attract positive people automatically.

Never lose sight of your dreams ... it's totally up to you to remind yourself everyday of the rewards you will reap as you achieve your goals.  

Sow it!  Reap it!

Makenzi 

Jay-Z lyrics are being taught at Georgetown University

Professor Michael Eric Dyson of Georgetown University is using Jay-Z lyrics to teach students about race, gender and poverty. Now I read Jay-Z's book Decoded and was very impressed, I actually learned information about Jay-Z that I never knew. Especially about his childhood, how he actually became a rapper, breaking down his song lyrics and so on.  I don't know Jay-Z personally (never met him) but from what I witnessed in the media and the way he carries himself I have a lot of respect for him. "They" say Sean Carter’s lyrics have no place in an educational institution like Georgetown but who has the right to say that students wouldn't be interested in analyzing his song lyrics. This type of thought process is why this world is the way it is today, people are always placing boundaries around certain issues and allowing society to dictate what should be. I was born and raised in Cleveland, Ohio and even though I come from an urban community and have a somewhat understanding of what Jay-Z raps about, I still would have taken a class of this nature when I was in college to obtain Jay-Z's viewpoint on life through his lyrics. I think the students at Georgetown University would benefit from this course, it would allow them to have a better understanding of the struggles that alot of the black men and women in the urban community experience. Majority of the students at Georgetown University experiences with African-Americans living in poverty probably comes from the negativity of media outlets. So why not provide them a outlet to show them how an individual rose from poverty to billionaire.


Makenzi

Time for you to Shine! BRANDING

Branding is one of the most important aspects of any business, large or small. An effective brand strategy gives you a major edge in increasingly competitive markets. But what exactly does "branding" mean? How does it affect you as an author? Simply put, your brand is your promise to your readers. Part of your brand as an author is determined by how vocal you are. The more you can reach the public on their level, the more you will be respected.  Respect leads to support, support increases book sells. Your brand is derived from who you are, who you want to be and who people perceive you to be. Another part of your brand will be to showcase causes or issues within your book and those issues in society that mean the most to you. Do you see yourself as a Brand?

Makenzi 

At least once a day u should make it a point to promote your product/brand.~~~ K'wan

Unexpected Truth

Phoenix Brown has been dealt a bad hand in life. Born in Cleveland, Ohio to an absentee father and drug-addicted mother, Phoenix learned at a young age the meaning of survival. She witnessed her brother’s life taken at the hands of a local drug dealer and also how the streets took over her mother’s life.

Phoenix was determined that her past would not predict her future. After graduating high school she enrolled in college, where she met and married the love of her life. However, she did not encounter the marital bliss she had hoped for when she learned of her husband’s indiscretions with a love child on the way.

Devastated by the news, Phoenix’s self-esteem is completely down. Not ready to give up on her marriage, Phoenix takes matters into her own hands, by confronting her husband at work with regards to his selfish decisions about love, life and marriage.

One wrong turn lands Phoenix in the one place she could never imagine being…in jail.